So.
Thursday, I told the child he was grounded for stealing $20 and lying to me about it. I told him he could go to his mom's on Saturday to babysit his nephew, but that was it.
As it turned out, he ended up going on Friday night and spending the night there. He was gone before I got home Friday afternoon; I wasn't too upset about that, because I didn't really want to LOOK at the child. I was just so incredibly sick to my stomach about what he'd done.
So yesterday, after Paul and I got home from a little wander-around adventure, I was lying down for a nap. About 6:30, Brett apparently messaged me... he'd come home briefly. I was sound asleep, and when I woke up 20 minutes later, he was already gone. When Paul woke up, I had him call over to Shelly's to see what Brett wanted... she said he wasn't there, that he'd stepped out but would be right back, and she'd have him call when he came back.
Two hours later, still no call. Paul called her back, and she said that he was out with James. I was, to say the least, FURIOUS. I thought she knew he was grounded; I was not only mad at Brett for playing me, but also at Shelly for not enforcing my discipline.
So I told Paul I was going over there. "Don't do it," he said. "You'll make things worse."
I didn't give a fuck. I've been supporting this woman's child for over three years now... I deserve some consideration.
So I went over. Shelly and her boyfriend were sitting on her porch when I walked up. I asked her if I could talk to her. "Sure, honey, come on in," she said.
She and I sat down and I told her exactly why I was so upset... she was flabbergasted. She'd had no idea he had been grounded, and said she wouldn't have even asked him to babysit if she'd known. Furthermore, she was just sick that he'd stolen from me... and more so when I told her of all the myriad incidents that had taken place over the last three years (Tim's Sidekick, my money, Paul's change jar, etc etc etc).
She offered to have him move in with her. I told her she had enough on her plate with kelsey (Brett's 19-year-old sister) and her baby... but that I was going to be telling Brett that he could either live with me and follow my rules, or he could leave.
She fully supported that, and called him to tell him he needed to go home to my house. He didn't want to... "Gretchen's going to yell at me!" She stood firm and told him to go home.
So I thanked her and went home to wait.
He walked in. I said, "Have a seat, we need to talk."
And then I told him exactly what I'd said I was going to... that he could live with me and follow my rules, or he could leave. I explained that this was exactly what I'd told Morgan, and that Morgan had chosen to leave. I asked if he had anything to say about it. He shook his head very slightly. I said, "Well, I'm done then." And that was that.
You know, the first time I told a child he could put up or get out, it broke my heart. I guess I've become more jaded, because I didn't really even flinch. I was calm and quiet and matter of fact.
But it makes my heart hurt none the less.
Today, he hasn't said anything to me at all, and I've probably said less than ten words to him.
He just walked out of his room, handed me a piece of paper, and walked back in his room.
To: Gretchen,
Well to start off Im not sure what to say. I am sorry. I know I messed up probably the best thing I think I have ever had (an actual family). I guess I am not sure what to say or do. I am not just syaing this but maybe it's better I move to maybe my dads or grandma's. I don't think you or Paul have deserved this. I have put you two through more crap than your own kids. I do want to thank you for letting me be here, feel loved, and know what its like to have a normal family. You have treated me better then I could have asked for. Me being the dumb person I am took that for granite. You or paul neither one are a bad parent. I did this to myself. I know were not on speaking terms but thought you should know this. Dont try to sit down and talk to me because im not good at that if you want email, IM, or write back.
Thanks
Brett
...
My head hurts, almost more than my heart.
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