Yesterday

It WAS a good day yesterday... Spending the evening with Paul, going to El Bait Shop and having fish tacos and Sierra Nevada BigFoot for the first time, watching "Little Miss Sunshine." The morning was good, too... feeling actually well-rested and having my coffee actually PERK me up.

I'm still struggling to be able to write. I'm still struggling to chronicle my daily life, even... let alone write anything of note. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I need to carve out space, time, for this or I'll go insane. I will. I don't know how I managed to stay even remotely sane for all the years before I had an online journal... I was never good at keeping a written journal.

I really want to write about love, and friends, and how wonderful the people around me have been. I want to, but I can barely construct a simple concrete sentence. This is making grantwriting a difficult proposition at best.

Grant writing. It's profoundly aggravating to me to have to clear EVERYTHING with Shelly before I do anything... and it's making me balk, to be frank. I'm pissed off that she went back on her word to write this grant for my program, and I'm pissed off that she can't seem to find it in her to just be supportive and trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.

She's just not the brightest crayon in the box, and while I like her well enough, I'm not impressed with her managerial ability.

Anyway.

I'm going to go shower and get to work on the grant... I'm going to leave at noon, I think. Minimize my exposure to Shelly.